Some kind of import?

 

SELECT blades FROM fan WHERE color='nickel'

 

Someone at Prostar doesn't think soap is exciting on its own

 

Gotta be extreeeeeeeeeme.

A poorly-placed sticker

 

Southern Style

 

C-4. Don't expect any collard greens.

She's really excited about her gasoline

She's not even the driver.

Like dyslexics don't have it hard enough

Raised letters? Really?

A neighborhood mystery solved?

I may have mentioned that we have some crappy neighbors at the old house. My pal Samir moved out in the summer of 2008, and it was purchased for use as a rental. The first round of tenants were painfully hip and occasionally rowdy, but generally tolerable. Their replacements.... well, they're something else. They've had a car up on blocks since they arrived in November. They used to pile up garbage and junk outside. They've got some weird pavilion set up on the front lawn. It's the sort of thing that makes you want a HOA (which the new neighborhood has). They have 2 adults and 6 kids between 2 and 14 living in a 1700 sf 4-bedroom. It's nuts.

Anyway. That's not the mystery. For a few weeks, we've been hearing some kind of engine coming from their garage. I've been wondering what it is. Since the man of the house is something of a fixer, I figured it was an air compressor for running pneumatic tools. Still, it was strange how often it was on. At night, for instance, or when nobody seemed to be home. How much compressed air does one man need?

The other day, as we were cleaning out the old house, I heard a clue, perhaps the only necessary clue. A friend of theirs that I'd seen before came to visit. As I was throwing away trash (trying to set a good example) or something like that, I overheard the friend ask a single question (imagine the appropriate Texas redneck accent): "So whaddya'll gotta do to get the electricity turned back on?"

Trophy wife as described by Wikipedia

The term trophy wife appeared in a 1950 issue of The Economist magazine. It referred to the historical practice of warriors capturing the most beautiful women during battle to bring home as wives, even if most modern trophy wives are acquired through other means.

source

My new favorite web comic

You may enjoy it like I do.

If only I had seen this sooner...

 

We've already put our deposits down on the new house, sadly. No minimum! No reserve!

In other news, I don't quite fit The Economist's target demographic.

See anything wrong here?

 

Give it a moment.

Doesn't that mean "senior citizen?"

 

Elderly became senior citizen is now becoming active adult (going by the billboards I see). So kids need to be watched by someone 65 years or older. Or maybe it means that 65-year olds on the play equipment need to be supervised. That makes more sense.

This doesn't seem like the best idea

 

Cheeky ad in the Economist

 

The play set for the children of the corn

 

I saw this at Academy. Check out the creepy children. What were they thinking?

A joke from north of the border

How do you get a group of rowdy Canadians out of a pool?

Say: "Please come out of the pool."

The #1 rule in real estate

I've been eyeballing the local housing market lately in anticipation of a move sometime in the next 18 months. I came across a rather nice looking house just outside our search area. It was reasonably priced, (too) large, and nicely appointed. A big plus was that it was new construction; you generally have to go pretty far out for that in Austin. Then I looked a little closer:


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What you're looking at is David Weekley's demo house. Rather, houses plural. See, they decided to build a couple of houses in a prime location in Austin to showcase their designs, amenities, etc. Basically a house showroom. They built two of them adjacent to each other. For easy access, they built them right on the feeder road of a major highway (spin the street view), and not far from another major highway. The houses are surrounded by massive parking lots, and ringed with strip malls and commercial real estate (my first full-time job was just a stone's throw away). The nearest other residences are on the other side of the highway behind a bunch of business. There's no neighborhood, nothing. It's just two adjoining houses smack dab in the middle of a bunch of strip malls (zoom out to see).

I can imagine someone finding this house on Trulia and not looking at the listing page too closely. I imagine them noting the address, then going for a drive by. And then the jaw dropping. What are they thinking? Who could possibly want that house there? It's hilariously awful.

You ain't got no horns, boy

Back in around 2003, I would regularly see this one distinctive car around Austin every few months. Then for a long time I didn't see it. Until yesterday. I saw it across the street as I was leaving the office. I wish I'd had my camera. Luckily, someone else with a camera saw it. What makes this car so special? Take a look. Only in Texas.

Amazon oops

Screenshot.