I am neurotic

Are you neurotic? I won't tell you which ones, if any, are mine, although I'll cop to this one someone else submitted.

I did not submit my constant anagramming, as I consider that a compulsion rather than a neurosis. I did not submit but you will note in this post my inability to quote someone else's spelling errors without interjecting "(sic)."

I know some of you will read this and wonder how there are so many weird people out there. I also know some of you will read that list and think, "pfft, they think they're neurotic?"

Some that I liked (some excerpted... some not):

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  When I have to ask for directions and the location is fairly obvious, I'm always embarrassed. To avoid the humiliation, I ask in a British accent so my incompetence is socially accepted.
  


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  ...It’s not a germ or hygiene issue, but some deep violation of the symbiotic relationship between a man and his pen.
  


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  I have reoccurring (sic) dreams about my mouth being full of an unending amount of hair clippings....
  


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  When I eat Starburst, I can only eat them in the following order: yellow, orange, pink and red. I stop eating once I’ve run out of enough candies to complete the pattern.
  


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  Someone once told me they HATE the sound of dry toilet paper rubbing together. Now, this sound chafes me to the core and I’m afraid that after reading this blog, I’m going to develop all the neuroses that I read. Please help.
  


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  ...I cannot fall asleep if my ears are exposed.
  


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  Pain that I can’t see is CANCER
  


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  I have an imaginary key board on my hands... when I am anxious, stressed, in an intense conversation, etc.- I will fixate on one particular word, and type it on my fake key board over and over again...
  


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  I can’t use the bathroom (even my own) without checking to make sure no one is hiding in the shower. Crap. Now I'm going to do this.
  


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  I don’t like eating food that is softer than it looks. Like gnocci (sic). You expect some resistance, but it’s just mushy. It gives me a headache.
  


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  I am convinced that if I focus hard enough, I can actually cause an earthquake...
  


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  I am completely petrified of colonial times. This includes both the civil and revolutionary wars as well as any and all references to butter churning and red coats and their impending arrival...
  


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  When I ride in a car and there are lots of consecutive trees or perhaps a forest, I can’t look at the trees for too long for fear that my eyes are going to get poked out.
  


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  My favorite: When I was little, I would apologize to my stuffed animals if I dropped them or something, so they wouldn’t kill me in my sleep. I also tried to evenly divide my attention among them so no one got lonely or jealous, and tried to kill me in my sleep.