Enough with the staples?

Alternate explanations I've come up with for the fasteners in my head:

1. I got a bottle broken over my head in a bar fight


2. a souvenir of a bad day at the bomb squad


3. A new fashion trend: scalp piercings


4. That's where the CIA put the mind control chip


5. It's the zipper for the skin suit


6. I'm a Cylon, and that's where the interface cable goes

The doctor took pains to assure me that removing the staples would be free, but I still have to make an appointment. I thought they wanted to make sure I let them do it... I'm getting really tempted to take these out myself. They're itchy and a little sore. I certainly have a lot of tools that could do the job.